Saturday, February 10, 2018

The Yellow Cur

The Yellow Cur
By Julia Chastain

I finished a new book last night that really got me thinking. In the story, the hero, John Guido, and the heroine, Amaryllis, had loved each other since childhood, but John Guido had been abroad studying music for many years. Now he was coming home when they were both all grown up, and anticipation was at a height. Amaryllis learned that her brother Peter was returning from college in England on the same boat that John Guido and his father were on, and she encouraged Peter to become friends with John Guido without telling him why, thinking to introduce him to her family this way. Peter took to John Guido right away and invited him to go on a boating trip the next week with him and his friends, kind of a vacation before they jump back into work as it were. John Guido, never having been on a yacht, was excited to accept, his only concern that he wouldn’t get to see Amaryllis as soon, but his father urged him to go, thinking it would be good for him to make friends outside of the music world. Then disaster—the engine exploded, the boat went down off the coast of Maine, and everyone on board was lost. As soon as Amaryllis saw the newspaper, she went at once to John’s father, Mr. Forrester, awash with grief and guilt to tell him the terrible news. She thought it was her fault that John Guido had died because she introduced him to her brother causing him to be invited on the trip. Mr. Forrester said, no, it was his fault because he urged John Guido to go when he wasn’t sure. As they were comforting each other on their losses, they suddenly heard a familiar whistle in the garden outside—it was John Guido walking up the walk! He knew nothing about the accident, explaining that he had been on the boat, but remembered he had a letter his father wanted him to mail and got off quickly to mail it. Before he could return to the boat, he saw a stray dog injured when a freight box fell on it on the docks, and he stopped to bandage it up. The boat left without him, and though he was at first understandably upset, he eventually decided it was for the best, as he really wanted to just get home and see Amaryllis. So he brought the dog home with him, a “yellow cur” as he called it, blaming it for his rotten luck. Of course, when he realized what that yellow cur had saved him from, he didn’t think it was such bad luck after all.


                The word “cur” is not a word you hear a lot these days (the book was written in the early 1900s); it means “a mangy, scrawny mutt of indeterminate origin”—the implication is something that is ugly, unsightly, and unwanted. Because the attitude of these stray dogs is generally hostile, cowardly and sneaky around humans, the word came to describe anyone who was hostile, cowardly, or sneaky. It is not a complimentary word. And yet it was this very thing, something seemingly insignificant and inconvenient at best that saved John Guido’s life. It made me think of all those times you hear about someone having a flat tire and thereby missing the fatal crash that happened up ahead, or forgetting something and turning around to get it, missing the accident that would have killed them if they had been in it. Or the classic—the man who was running late for work the morning the Twin Towers fell. We tend to curse these delays and mishaps because they ruin our plans for the day, and yet hindsight often provides a different perspective, and we can see the hand of God protecting us and working in our lives. Romans 8:28 says, “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love Him, who have been called according to His purpose (NIV).” This means that everything that happens in our lives, good or bad, according to plan or horribly inconvenient, is a part of God’s plan, and He is using it for our good to bring glory to His name. It’s easy to stress when things don’t happen the way we think they should, but we need to instead take a step back and try to see things from heaven’s perspective. We can’t always see the big picture, but we can trust that God has a reason for setbacks and delays and that in the right time His will, not ours, will be accomplished. And His will for us is always good (Jer. 29:11). So the next time a yellow cur comes into your life, don’t curse it or rail at the inconvenience; instead, thank God that He is able to turn what seems to be bad into something good, and you just might be amazed at what God can do.

Sunday, September 24, 2017

Perfect Love- Part 1

Perfect Love- Part 1- By Julia Chastain

I was listening to a CD of secular love songs the other day (if you must know, it was the soundtrack for Shrek), and I was suddenly struck by how much alike the songs all were in their message about romantic love—how it should feel, what it should look like, etc. It should feel amazing, knock you off your feet, at last you’ve met your soul mate, the one who completes you, etc., etc. It should make you want to tear your clothes off and the other person’s as well and get in bed together and have fun. It’s the same message that secular romance novels have about love by and large, especially the soul mate and the sex part. And I have a problem with that.

Now, I enjoy a good romance as much as the next female—I read romance novels, secular and Christian, I enjoy the occasional chick flick (I have pity on my husband most of the time ), and I listen to the occasional love song (witness the other day). And over the years I have noticed this recurring theme—how when you fall in love that person is supposed to complete you, become your be-all and end-all, fill in all the empty spaces that were so lonely before, and you’ll never be alone again. Sounds wonderful, doesn’t it? After all, it’s what everybody’s looking for! I would be willing4 to bet that a good majority of Americans today believe that that is what love is. But they’d be wrong—that is just a myth.

I’m not saying that true love doesn’t exist or that there isn’t somebody special out there for everyone in the world—true love does exist and there probably is somebody special out there for most people (some people are just not meant to be married)—but to quote Veggietales Duke and the Great Pie War: “True love’s a little different than you’d expect!” The problem with that view of romantic love is that it doesn’t take into account that humans are fallible, imperfect and undependable at times. Even the most well-intentioned lover is going to mess up at some point and fail his or her significant other. Those you love the most will hurt you sooner or later, will get too busy for you, will find other things that interest them more, even if only temporarily, and will in a thousand and more ways prove that they are incapable of being absolutely everything to and for you. They are, after all, only human. To be more than that is physically impossible for us—we are not perfect creatures.

But I think the expectation of that perfect love from an imperfect partner may be at the root of a great many divorces. People go into marriage naively believing that everything will be perfect now, “I’ve got the love of my life, he or she understands me and what I need to be happy, he or she makes me happy, we’re soul mates, etc.”, and then when things go wrong, don’t go as planned, when their spouse doesn’t meet their expectations, they start rationalizing, “Maybe this person isn’t my soul mate, maybe we aren’t  meant to be together, this just isn’t working, I need to get out of this marriage and find someone who really, truly loves me.” I’m not saying this is the root of all divorces—some people really, truly have problem marriages and see divorce as the only way to solve their problems, but I do wonder how many marriages could be saved if the couples involved understood what true love is and understood Who is truly supposed to be the center of their lives.

The thing is, we really do have an empty, lonely place in our hearts that is seeking the perfect thing to fill it, only you’ll never find anything in this world that is the right fit. Ecclesiastes 3:10b says, “He [God] has also set eternity in the hearts of men; yet they cannot fathom what God has done from beginning to end.” As the song says, “There’s a God-shaped hole in all our hearts”, and only God can fill that emptiness inside. “For in Him we live and move and have our being” (Acts 17:28). God put that emptiness in our hearts so we would seek Him, and while another human being may give us a sense of temporary completion, only God can truly fill that hole with eternal joy and completion.